Un copil de pe stradă o cheama pe maica-să:
- Ma-a-ma-ă-ă-ă!!!
Nu raspunde nimeni …. Mai tare:
- Ma-a-mă-ă-ă-ă!!!
Nu raspunde nimeni …. şi mai tare, scoţând tot cartierul la geamuri:
- Ma-a-ma-a-a-a!!!
La o fereastră de la etajul 7 apare o doamnă:
- Ce s-a întâmplat?
- Cheamă-l pe tata!
Un micuţ scoţian intră într-un magazin şi cere un litru de ulei. Vânzătorul toarnă uleiul într-o sticlă şi îi spune cât costă.
– Dar n-am atâţia bani. Turnaţi-l înapoi, spune copilul.
Copilul iese din magazin, se uită la sticlă şi spune:
– A avut dreptate mama. Cât a mai ramas în sticlă ne ajunge de o salată.
Fetiţa, către mama:
– Mamă, profesoara noastră m-a întrebat astăzi dacă am un frate sau o soră mai mici decât mine.
– Si ea ce a spus când i-ai spus că esti singurul copil?
– “Multumesc lui Dumnezeu!”
Lupul îl prinde pe iepure. Ştiind că lupul e mort după dansurile populare, iepurele îi cere voie să facă o demonstraţie de dans înainte de a fi mâncat. Lupul e de acord. Iepurele face un pas la dreapta, un pas la stânga, doi la dreapta, doi la stânga, trei la dreapta, trei la stânga, patru la dreapta, apoi o ia la fuga.
Lupul exclamă: „Ce coregrafie idioata!”
Două fantome se întâlnesc la poarta cimitirului:
- Ieşim la o plimbare? întreaba una.
- Sigur, dar asteaptă o clipă...
- De ce naiba ai luat şi piatra funerară cu tine?
- Pentru că nu îmi place să mă plimb seara fără buletin...
La un restaurant pescaresc:
- Serviti şi moluşte?
- Servim pe toti clienţii...
Un american vizitează Bucurestiul cu un taximetrist. Trec pe lânga guvern:
- Ce este cladirea asta aşa mare?
- Este palatul guvernului, domnule!
- Şi în cât timp a fost construită?
- Cam în 10 ani!
- Mult timp! La noi era gata în 2 ani! Ştiţi că noi avem o tehnologie mai avansată!!! Taximetristul nu zice nimic. Mai merg ei ce mai merg şi americanul iar întreabă:
- Cladirea asta ce e?
- Este sediul primariei, domnule!
- Si în cât timp a fost construită?
- Cam în juma' de an!
- Mult... la noi era gata în 2-3 luni!
Taximetristul nu mai poate de nervi.
Ajung şi la Casa Poporului:
- Ooooooo, dar ce e cladirea asta?
La care taximetristul:
- Nu ştiu, că azi dimineată nu era aici!
Un ardelean e oprit de un poliţist, care îi spune:
- Daţi-mi numele şi prenumele.
- Ai înnebunit? Si pe urmă cum mă mai numesc?
Doua muste stau pe un tavan. Una dintre ele spune:
- Sunt uimită de prostia umană. Cheltuiesc o avere ca să-şi facă tavan şi nici măcar nu-l folosesc.
Cât fac 2x2?
- 4, tata.
- Foarte bine. Pentru asta îţi dau 4 bomboane.
- Dacă ştiam că-mi dai, spuneam 16.
Într-o dimineaţă, animalele stăteau la coadă în faţa unei brutării ca să cumpere pâine. Un iepure a vrut să sară peste rând, dar ursul l-a trimis la locul lui:
– Trebuie să stai la rand!
– Lasă-mă să trec, a insistat iepurele.
Atunci ursul îl loveste şi îl aruncă la pământ. Iepurele se ridica plin de sânge şi spune furios:
– Bine, dacă te comporti aşa, atunci nu mai deschid brutaria
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c'est Moi, Miss Future Flight attendant
If you’d like to see me, look beyond what you see, look beyond my surface...
cute quotes per day
“Laughter is the closest distance between two people.”
Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question
““When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.””
The wise are wise only because they love. The fool are fools only because they think they can understand love.”
One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving.”
“You can become blind by seeing each day as a similar one. Each day is a different one, each day brings a miracle of its own. It's just a matter of paying attention to this miracle.”
“Life was always a matter of waiting for the right moment to act.”
“When a person really desires something, all the universe conspires to help that person to realize his dream.”
“We will only understand the miracle of life fully when we allow the unexpected to happen. Every day, G-d gives us the sun-and also one moment in which we have the ability to change everything that makes us unhappy...
Oh, I love hugging. I wish I was an octopus, so I could hug 10 people at a time!”
“Promise me you'll never forget me because if I thought you would I'd never leave.”
“If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I'd be picking roses for a lifetime.”
“All I know is that you love me...in my dreams.”
Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.
Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.
Hope is the dream of the waking man.
French Proverb
À cœur vaillant rien d'impossible.
Nothing is impossible for a willing heart.
"To a valient heart nothing impossible."
Autres temps, autres mœurs.
Times change.
"Other times, other customs."
Bon sang ne saurait mentir.
What's bred in the bone will come out in the flesh.
"Good blood doesn't know how to lie."
Heureux au jeu, malheureux en amour.
Lucky at cards, unlucky in love.
"Happy in the game, unhappy in love."-that's me :P
Il faut casser le noyau pour avoir l'amande.
No pain no gain.
"You need to break the shell to have the almond."
Il faut casser le noyau pour avoir l'amande.
No pain no gain.
"You need to break the shell to have the almond."
Impossible n'est pas français.
There is no such word as "can't."
"Impossible isn't French."
Mieux vaut plier que rompre.
Adapt and survive.
"Better to bend than to break."
Tel qui rit vendredi dimanche pleurera.
Laugh on Friday, cry on Sunday.
"He who laughs on Friday will cry on Sunday."
Tout est bien qui finit bien.
All's well that ends well.
Vouloir, c'est pouvoir.
Where there's a will, there's a way.
"To want, that is to be able."
Aux innocents les mains pleines.
Beginner's luck.
"Full hands for the innocents."
C'est en forgeant qu'on devient forgeron.
Practice makes perfect.
"It's by forging that one becomes a blacksmith."
Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question
““When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.””
The wise are wise only because they love. The fool are fools only because they think they can understand love.”
One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving.”
“You can become blind by seeing each day as a similar one. Each day is a different one, each day brings a miracle of its own. It's just a matter of paying attention to this miracle.”
“Life was always a matter of waiting for the right moment to act.”
“When a person really desires something, all the universe conspires to help that person to realize his dream.”
“We will only understand the miracle of life fully when we allow the unexpected to happen. Every day, G-d gives us the sun-and also one moment in which we have the ability to change everything that makes us unhappy...
Oh, I love hugging. I wish I was an octopus, so I could hug 10 people at a time!”
“Promise me you'll never forget me because if I thought you would I'd never leave.”
“If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I'd be picking roses for a lifetime.”
“All I know is that you love me...in my dreams.”
Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.
Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.
Hope is the dream of the waking man.
French Proverb
À cœur vaillant rien d'impossible.
Nothing is impossible for a willing heart.
"To a valient heart nothing impossible."
Autres temps, autres mœurs.
Times change.
"Other times, other customs."
Bon sang ne saurait mentir.
What's bred in the bone will come out in the flesh.
"Good blood doesn't know how to lie."
Heureux au jeu, malheureux en amour.
Lucky at cards, unlucky in love.
"Happy in the game, unhappy in love."-that's me :P
Il faut casser le noyau pour avoir l'amande.
No pain no gain.
"You need to break the shell to have the almond."
Il faut casser le noyau pour avoir l'amande.
No pain no gain.
"You need to break the shell to have the almond."
Impossible n'est pas français.
There is no such word as "can't."
"Impossible isn't French."
Mieux vaut plier que rompre.
Adapt and survive.
"Better to bend than to break."
Tel qui rit vendredi dimanche pleurera.
Laugh on Friday, cry on Sunday.
"He who laughs on Friday will cry on Sunday."
Tout est bien qui finit bien.
All's well that ends well.
Vouloir, c'est pouvoir.
Where there's a will, there's a way.
"To want, that is to be able."
Aux innocents les mains pleines.
Beginner's luck.
"Full hands for the innocents."
C'est en forgeant qu'on devient forgeron.
Practice makes perfect.
"It's by forging that one becomes a blacksmith."
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